A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a very rare situation here. For 6 years I have worked in the adult industry where I well have to do things with other men and woman for $$ My fiance has stuck through with me all these years and cause he believed that he was allowed to do openminded stuff to with other woman which I wasn't comfortable with. I look at mine like a job not as anything enjoyable. Well we are seperated now cause he doesnt like the fact that I am jealous of him sleeping with other woman and he says I do it all the time at my job, but the thing is he gets very emotional connected with people he sleeps with so the jealousy comes from him wanting to be with someone other then me and starting to have feelings like he does for me with someone else that bothers me. That makes me upset and sad. But he doesnt understand it. Now we are seperated as he says cause of my jealousy and won't get back with me until I get over this jealousy. Am I in the wrong to be jealous am I supposed to be okay with this. Just cause I do the job. He did allow me once to sleep with someone he knew cause I was attracted to him and I did and then came back to him and had amazing sex with him. Thats what he thinks is going to happen with me, with him, we have amazing sex now, back then we did from time to time, but I wasn't totally inlove with him, now that he is gone I realize how much I screwed him out of good love and sex for the long amount of years. And I am willing to change but he don't see it. So basically....... Am I not in the right to be jealous should I just accept that he wants to sleep with other girls and that he wants to be able to share his experiences with me, thats what he wants but I am not sure I can deal with that, how can you deal with that? Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, Uncle_Phil  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 You may well get more replies to this question if you post it on the Dear Cupid site, as it's more of a relationship problem than a financial one!
A
male
reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (17 January 2008):
 What a story. I think if you wrote down the details of your relationship, you could sell the movie rights. This would make one heck of a drama.
Lets look at the facts you listed. (1) you're in a job (2) you do sexual acts with men other than your boyfriend.
Let's look at this from a male stand point. The job is irrelivant. What is relivant is you share your body with other men. I'm sorry to say this, but the realy only relivant difference between what you're doing and what you're jealous of him doing is, you charge, where he does not.
Job or not, you're taking the intimacy out of your relationship. Sex (in a loving intimate way) may disappear or no longer exist, why? How can you treasure what everyone else is getting.
The problem here is your job. Weather your charging or not, you're being unfaithful, weather he's attracted or not to the other women, he's being unfaithful. Unfortunately, even if you got back with him, if behaviors dont change drastically, this relationship would be a time bomb waiting to explode.
Neither on of you seems like you're open with eachother about how you feel. Did you ever think the reason he's share his experiences with you is a way for him to show you "your job is really affecting me, but I don't want to hurt you by telling you face to face."
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