I procrastinate and don't put much effort towards anything, how can I change?
Q. I am an extremely generous and caring person. I love to make people laugh and feel happy in general. My biggest problem is that although I know in the back of my mind that I am attractive and tons of people love me, I just can't seem to fucking love ...
A. 4 September 2010: have you ever been tested for ADHD. it's really not a bad thing to have, but it does present obstacles, such as the ones you listed. i have it and cope with these same issues by spending some time at night to plan my next day. decide, who do you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: be traditional with him, or he'll have to change his perception. There has to be some room for compromise, or neither one of you will be truly satisfied. I can't see how you'd be replacing him, if you're seeking to give him pleasure as well. He may ... (read in full...)
I love him and I want to be with him forever but I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way anymore.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. Lately we've been arguing a lot and I feel like he doesn't love me the way that he did in the beginning of the relationship. He's been avoiding me for 2 weeks straight now. he hasn't called me ...
A. 4 September 2010: Ask him "who is she?" I know it's scary, but you need to know the truth before making a decision. The part I'm weary about, and thinking there is a possibility of there being someone else, is how he's ignored you for two weeks. You need to ask him ... (read in full...)
He's gone off to Sweden to get this out of his system...
Q. So the guy I have been dating for a few months has gone off to sweden to meet someone he snogged before we met. he states that it is to get it out is system and we have discussed openly that he is clearly going away for whatever it maybe sex, space ...
A. 4 September 2010: I'd say this is not okay. Should have had this out of his system when you two got together and began dating. I'd recommend you not be there when he returns. This really is disrespectful behavior. Either he wants you or he wants her. If he's going to ... (read in full...)
I thought women are fickle, so how come my man is even more fickle?
Q. Hi, Over the course of two years, I've seen my boyfriend changed from casual partner to potential life time partner. Here's the things he said to me, about me, about us throughout these two years in timely sequence, and I am pretty much level heade...
A. 4 September 2010: but this flim flaming shouldn't be justified if it negatively affects you. What can you count on with this guy? One day he wants one thing then the next day something else. Anytime he says he wants something, just tell him that you don't believe ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: He needs to find out what is driving his insecurity. Holding the toy or not, he's the one who's enjoying the pleasure with you. I think he's being unrealistic, but it's his insecurity, and it's a real threat to him. He needs to take time and figure ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend with my cousin!
Q. So a few weeks ago, I went to visit my cousin who lives in another country. I haven't seen him in 2 years and we are really good friends even though we haven't had much facetime (we've lived in different countries our whole lives). During my visit, ...
A. 4 September 2010: it's hard, but the only way to overcome guilt is to come clean, ask and possibly receive forgiveness for this. when you cheat, and come clean, the direction of your relationship is handed over to the one you cheated on. he might forgive you, then ... (read in full...)
I think about cheating... a lot
Q. I'm in my first relationship. This is my boyfriend's second serious relationship and he's hooked up with a few girls. He says he loves me more than anything and wants to marry me. I do love him but I don't know if I love him as much as he lo...
A. 4 September 2010: you need to decide what you want and what you're looking for. if it's your boyfriend you want, stay with him, if you want to act on being with other guys, cheating is not the answer, ending your relationship, then pursuing what you want would be. ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my social science teacher!
Q. my social science teacher just got out of uni, so hes really young and hes reeally hot. The other day my friend said that id have sex with anyone for even a can of coke... And this made me cry. A lot. So my teacher came and sat next to me, asking me ...
A. 4 September 2010: Sounds like he was comforting you in a difficult situation. It's easy to have a crush when someone takes time to care like that, but you have to understand adults will comfort those who hurt, without intentions of dating or anything else. He's a ... (read in full...)
My family are blatant in their discrimination
Q. Hi, I come from a rather conservative background, where caste based discrimination still exists. Around 7 months ago, I landed myself, my first job. where I met this guy, almost 10 years senior to me and we hit it off instantly. I've been seei...
A. 4 September 2010: You two have your relationship, let them come around on their own time. Be blunt. Let them know that he is who you choose, and whether or not they do, that will not change. Spend more time with you two and less time with family. If they want to be ... (read in full...)
He doesn't love me enough to leave his children
Q. If your married lover says that he doesn't love you enough to walk out on his children,does that mean he never will?...
A. 4 September 2010: It means his kids come first in his life. That's how it should be. He's married, why are you with him? Find someone who's single that is there for you. Your with someone now who is not yours to begin with, so you really can't expect much other than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my toys??
Q. My boyfriend is jealous of my sex toys. We're both 19 and He has shut down since he learned about them. His ego is shot. He is really one of the greatest guys I have ever met though. He means the world to me but he has lost all his confidence in ...
A. 4 September 2010: I don't think his jealousy has anything to do with your toys, as much as it does with his self confidence. The toys are only an excuse to pin this on. This needs to be looked at, absent the toys as being his excuse. What, in him, makes him feel ... (read in full...)
How can I over come this major depression without doctors or pills?
Q. I'm suffering from major depression. I've just constantly got it in my head the world hates me. I cry myself to sleep most nights. What can I do other than go the doctors? Everyone always suggests doctors, I do not like doctors or pills, so it ...
A. 4 September 2010: I'd recommend exercise, ie. speed walking etc. It's said it releases the same chemical many of the anti-depressants do. Also, St. Johns Wart, which is an herbal supplement, but works as an emotional stabler.
If it comes down to it, see a doctor. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and afraid of what everyone is going to think
Q. heyyah im 15 and im pregnant but the father or my parents dont know anything about it and im scared of what they all might say...im scared of the father leaving me on my own to raise the baby and im scared that my parents might not want anythin to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Telling them is what you need to do. It can be extremely scary. I have daughters too, I know I would be upset if they got pregnant, but I would be there to help them through it. You are going to have to face this. You might want to confide in a ... (read in full...)
Will my friend ever end her bad relationship?
Q. She is in a rocky relationship. In a relationship with her bf for 5 years. Broke up but patched countless times. She had cried, being emotionally hurt in this relationship A month back, she cried because of this relationship. She tells me he is very ...
A. 30 August 2010: Only time will tell if she will. I would recommend that she does. No one should have to go through being controlled, manipulated or abused. I agree it can be difficult to move on, but she needs to take into account, what she would be moving on from. ... (read in full...)
He said that he hadn't been happy for 5 years and doesn't love me anymore.
Q. I'm about give up. My husband of 11 years( been together 18) with 3 kids,9,7 and 5 left me 3 months ago. He said that he hadn't been happy for 5 years and doesn't love me anymore. He is living in a house of a friend rent free. He has said that he ...
A. 30 August 2010: It depends. Are you ready to tall it quits? Is that what you want or do you want to see if there is potential to reconcile? Marriage is not easy, and it sounds like if you do stay together, more counseling is needed. Why he's not happy is also ... (read in full...)
What is myth and what is real?
Q. I'm really interested to know, if a man in their 50 s are highly suspectable to become impotent. I, in my twenties, and my boyfriend is 56. I love him, he is great lover, he can do it twice a day, and he wants all sort of things from me. Like ...
A. 30 August 2010: What is real is that his ex-wife does not have your sex life as a priority to assure it's a good one. Don't take advice from her. Of course she's pissed. He's with someone, she may have been 30 years ago. I'm sure their is raging jealousy with her, ... (read in full...)
What could have caused this fear?
Q. hey, i'm here today to ask about something. it might not be about relationships, but it is about emotions. today at work my boss was teaching the kids for a summer school thing. and he was teaching them 'stranger danger'. well as he was teaching ...
A. 30 August 2010: See, talking to the kids hit home. You may not be normally afraid, but this situation at work is what I call, "In relation too", therefore your subconscious related to what was being said, the environment you were in, and can also be simply the age ... (read in full...)
What could have caused this fear?
Q. hey, i'm here today to ask about something. it might not be about relationships, but it is about emotions. today at work my boss was teaching the kids for a summer school thing. and he was teaching them 'stranger danger'. well as he was teaching ...
A. 29 August 2010: Don't think fear is cowardly. We all have fears. He was talking about strangers at the time, think about what exactly he said the moment you felt the fear. There may have been something or a close call that may have happened to you when you were ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she understand we were both wrong?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years.. We both brought children into the relationship. Things transpired and we both ended up cheating on eachother. Her's was physical, and mine was disrespectful also. She cheated on me ...
A. 29 August 2010: Have you truly forgiven each other for the past issues? That's the most important action, if you really want to move forward. You both cheated, hers physical, and yours emotional, but not any less wrong than a physical affair. Cheating is simply ... (read in full...)
How do I forget?
Q. Is there a way, i can block the memories of my dead lover? It hurts too bad to think of him. I remember his beautiful face and sweet, funny personality. And I miss him painfully. My heart aches so much for him. It's only been 2 months now. It's the ...
A. 29 August 2010: It will hurt, and why do you want to forget. It's the good times people share with us that is worth remembering. You're going to experience different stages, some easier than others, but there are always different stages when grieving. It's okay to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is hot and gets hit on by other guys... now I'm insecure about it
Q. I am a male, and I am having some issues with my Girl Friend. We have been dating for about a year, and we have a very good and intimate relationship. My gf is very pretty, I cant even stress this point enough. The first time I ever saw her my heart ...
A. 28 August 2010: You need to realize first that if she wanted the other guys, she would not be with you. Does that make sense? You look at her as being pretty, but I bet she doesn't see herself the same way you do. Many women, although pretty, see themselves as ... (read in full...)
I feel like I've ruined my life for good!
Q. I feel like ive ruined my life at such a young age :/ ive done soo many stupid things and its only hit me now how messed up i am.... this year alone, ive had drug issues, stds, abortion and got myself into loads of debt, and ive just realised ho...
A. 27 August 2010: Have you seen, "Dead Man Walking?" If not, watch it. The sister told the man on death row, "You are better than the worse thing you have ever done." I believe that to be a true statement. Sure you've made mistakes, but now you can decide no more ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated on me and now I feel like retaliating with a friend to show him how it feels!
Q. I recently found out my husband of 5yrs was having an affair with another married woman for a little over a year. To make things worse, let me mention that I was pregnant with our 2nd child and not only did he have the nerve to screw her in MY car, ...
A. 27 August 2010: Understand if you do, you will be no better than he has been. It's the act of adultery that hold the title adulterer for those who act against the marriage. Right now he is, and you are faithful, but if you do anything with your friend, you can no ... (read in full...)
We are at different stages in life and I know I should just be happy being friends, but I cant help but feel sad about it....
Q. Hello my dilemma is this: I'm 24 years old, I just turned 24, and I met an absolutely amazing guy. I completely feel like I can be myself around him. He is wonderful in many ways. The issue? He's 39. So when I turn 25, he'll be 40. I just want to ...
A. 26 August 2010: Follow your heart. You may be at a different stage, but what are stages anyway. People are in relationships because they enjoy each other. Even as you get older, you can't guarantee yourself that someone your age won't be at a different stage ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out!
Q. I met a girl at a house party on monday. She added me on facebook and then sent me a message on it which I replied. I'm fairly keen on her and I'f like to ask her out (will have a convo on facebook first before I consider). However I have a few prob...
A. 26 August 2010: Just because the last gal wasn't ready doesn't mean the same is true here. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend, ask her on a date, because that can remain platonic or it can develop into something more. Just say that you enjoy talking to her, and ... (read in full...)
Is this RAPE??
Q. im not sure if this is rape... i was messing around with a guy and he started touching me...i didnt care about that but then he started putting it in and i was trying to push him off me at the hips but he was too strong.. i kept asking him to get ...
A. 26 August 2010: You can file charges. How did round 2 happen? You need to understand that when you're messing around and allowing him to touch you sexually, emotions change to being heated. I'm not blaming you. When you tried pushing him off, and asked him to, he ... (read in full...)
I'm self conscious about myself and when he looks at other girls it upsets me!
Q. My eating disorder is ruining my relationship. I have been with my boyf for two years now and we have some problems, but it all comes down to my insecurity. I'm 20 and he is 23. He has known about my issues with eating for around a year. I was re...
A. 26 August 2010: I won't tell you to get over it, because you're choosing not to. I'm not saying there aren't issues, but you need to separate what you know he is not doing, and no longer hold those as possibilities. So, if he's not, believing it could be is a self ... (read in full...)
Another guy is telling my girlfriend he loves her!
Q. I'm in a very-LDR, and in recent months I've become really concerned with the amount of interest another guy has been showing my girlfriend. He's in the same country as me. He writes on her Facebook page that he loves her, and he sends her expens...
A. 26 August 2010: I believe she is having a LD playing the field. She knows exactly what she's doing and you're not looking to far into it. This reminds me of a female friend of mine who walked in and caught her husband with his pants down and a stranger female ... (read in full...)
He started gagging during sex because he was grossed out by my body, now this has totally shattered my confidence.....
Q. I don't know what to do. This is very embarrassing and I really need kind advice right now. Today I spent most of the day with my guy. We ended up getting...quite heated on the bed. Then, halfway through sex, he stops and starts making gagging no...
A. 25 August 2010: Thank you for the feedback. I believe the guys answer the way they had because we know that as men we desire sex and the female body, even when you don't see yourself the way the guy you are with sees you. ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 25 August 2010: It's in the wording. You don't have to just come right out and say it. I'd say something like, "We don't talk, you're disconnected from me and the kid, and this is driving me to reconsidering if I want to remain in this marriage." Opening up ... (read in full...)
I'm feelings uncomfortable in my own home! why wont he leave?
Q. my partner has a tendancy when we argue to be really verbal to me. after coming back from a holiday we hardly spoke in the car which we were in for 8 hours! it drove me mental and ended up in an argument. the next thing i know he was in my face ...
A. 25 August 2010: It's your house. Tell him that you will not deal with this anymore and to get the hell out. That's what you need to do, or ask the authorities to have him removed. Possibly with his lashing out, you can get a restraining order, so he can't have ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 25 August 2010: I would ask him..... It sounds like their is communication lacking, but not just from his side. You've accepted his disconnect as just being the way it is. Let him know what your plans are, instead of complaining about things not working out. Tell ... (read in full...)
I still love her..am I bi?
Q. So, i met this girl in 9th grade(im a junior now) and we instantly became good friends. She was always my shoulder to cry on. Not only that but we became physically close, she would always sit on my lap and always asked me to put my arms around her ...
A. 24 August 2010: How do you consider yourself? We can't answer the question of you are bi or not. Understand, especially with girls, their is a period where sexuality is developing, where girls experiment with other girls. It doesn't mean the feelings are false, ... (read in full...)
He abuses me and checks out other women, yet despite this I still cant leave him. How can I focus on the negatives in the relationship and finally leave him?
Q. I have been dating a man for almost a year. This man takes care of my bills and he says he wants to marry me. He has been physically abusive with me, to an extent where I should know he is not the one for me. I have been abused by my ...
A. 24 August 2010: Why do you see abuse as being okay? You don't deserve to be physically, mentally or sexually abused. It is unacceptable that you are treated that way at all. He has no respect for you. I don't know how someone can abuse you, then claim they want to ... (read in full...)
He started gagging during sex because he was grossed out by my body, now this has totally shattered my confidence.....
Q. I don't know what to do. This is very embarrassing and I really need kind advice right now. Today I spent most of the day with my guy. We ended up getting...quite heated on the bed. Then, halfway through sex, he stops and starts making gagging no...
A. 24 August 2010: You two need to talk to find out what he meant. This doesn't sounds normal. I think maybe he was misunderstood or it came out wrong. I really think you two need to get this talked over before you decide you definitely know what he was saying. I say ... (read in full...)
After my husband cheated and I moved out I slept with another man, it feels so good to get revenge for what my husband did to me! Was I wrong to do this?
Q. After i realised that its not working out, we both agreed that i should move out and get a place of my own, i moved out and i was still angry at him for cheating and all the bad treatment i got from my mother in law.i have been staying alone for ...
A. 24 August 2010: I agree that two wrongs don't make a right. Get revenge on what? Are you two together? You said you moved out....who are you getting revenge on? If you two are together, you can't go on without telling him that you're sleeping with someone else. I'd ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: Are you sure it's not a midlife crisis? I'd have to agree with that question. Why the split? Is there any chance of seeking marital counseling to mend your marriage? Is the marriage in a rut? It happens to the best of them. Same ole, different day, ... (read in full...)
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety...how can I deal with this?
Q. I'm 17. I have really bad anxiety problems for example: I'll keep myself awake for hours at night, just thinking about what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I'm indecisive - It will take me twenty minutes to figure out what kind of chocolate bar I want ...
A. 24 August 2010: Good for you. Unlike many people who have something wrong, you noticed that you might and took the time to ask. That puts you so much ahead of so many others.
What are you really worried about? These symptoms are anxiety, but having a tumor fo... (read in full...)
Could she be lying about how many men she has slept with?
Q. I need help with a question that's been floating around in my mind. I'm very much in love with my girlfriend and we've been dating for about 1 1/2 years now. We recently got engaged. Here's the issue... My girlfriend/fiancé is from a very smal...
A. 24 August 2010: Who cares? Why are you getting married to her? Do you actually need to know how many of the 22 she slept with? Would that make a difference with how you feel about her, since whatever her past is, happened before you had any feelings about her. You ... (read in full...)
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